I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
