I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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