a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
