similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
