I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
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He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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