He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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