You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
