butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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