Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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