absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Randomize
