I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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