eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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