There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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