Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
