i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
