A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
