: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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