omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You left your phone here
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