Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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