I'm gonna have a badass scar
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
