it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I need water and some morals
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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