Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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