Define "chronic" masturbator.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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