Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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