I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
