She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
