I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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