That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
