You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
