What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
