fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
