New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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