Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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