my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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