3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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