Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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