did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize