So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
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Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
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We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It's shark week go big or go home
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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