I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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