No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
i need some magic done to my vagina
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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