this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
