Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
