Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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