I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
