their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
