I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
