But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
