Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Randomize
