chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
