tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize