What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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