Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
