Swine flu. Run for my life!
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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