Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
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I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
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Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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