Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
