Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Two words: blizzard sex
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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