But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
