Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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