amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
