It was confusing and full of hummus
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
