I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
